At six months adamant meant that I refused to die… then again at five; nine; sixteen and eighteen years of age.

When I was about seven years old my grandfather began to toughen me  up… I was given a custom made axe, just right for my height and weight… after which I was told to chop up the huge chunks of tree that occupied our sidewalk; it is quite obvious what adamant meant to me in this case… I would not be tired out by a tree, no matter how wide or heavy… I was adamant though, and I always finished the job although sometimes I would start at sunrise and end when the sun would set. There was no possible way that I could lift the heavy bits so I chopped small bits off one at a time until eventually i was able to. I was never angry at him for the labor imposed on me, in fact I rather enjoyed it; every time another piece connected the floor, I felt relieved and everything I struggled with made perfect sense to me while in the act of chopping wood!

There are days when I wish I could bring in a few huge chunks and spend an entire week just chopping again.

I have not lived for that long but I’ve been adamant about life since birth.

I refuse to accept failure of any kind!

Adamant is also the name for a Diamond and I find this very ironic since diamonds are indeed very adamant little pieces of treasure; in fact it is their adamancy that makes diamonds so precious as a final product. They are shaped hundreds of kilometers into the earth which means that their formation happens under immense amounts of pressure, not to mention heat. Day after day they are being scorched and compressed for months or maybe even years on end. Mineralogists and crystallographers argue that diamonds actually form from elemental carbon dissolved within magma when a critical pressure and temperature is reached. The process of crystallization they say takes a very short time. Regardless of who is right we can safely conclude that the process of becoming a diamond is niether pleasant nor easy.

It’s exactly how life works. It’s not a new discovery but we forget that we are all diamonds in the rough. Each one of us has the potential to be someone great, whether your calling is to entertain or whether it is to preach, teach, nurse or just to love… it won’t come easy. Nothing ever does. However we get to choose where we end up or who we become. I do not believe that set backs should be seen as permanent, no matter how bad the situation may seem.

Depression is something that we have to live with every day of our lives and yet somehow we make it through. I see depression as a guide… a guide to where I definitely don’t want to be and each time I let that guide lead me I am reminded of the horror and pain lurking in the dark corners of each room, memory and every section of my heart.

I do not regret living with depression, I see reason to be happier because of it. It’s a lot easier to say this than to actually do it, but the more feminine side of me still wants to shine, to get out of the rough and just be a diamond.

Imagine a world full of shinning people, creating purity instead of corruption, simplicity instead of complication a world of people who push each other along in their shinning quest creating genuine light.

A world filled with goodness…

Peace isn’t impossible… rather it is improbable…

Not many of us would willingly say goodbye to our comfort zone for the greater good.

Yet I like to dream of it…the return to innocence;

Wouldn’t it be lovely?Chopping wood :)

When Things Go Pear Shaped

According to ‘Wikipedia’ the consumption of pears as a source of food and their growth in cool, constant climates extend as far back as prehistoric times. Although they predate, nourish, boost and inspire (some of us), one will seldom find an enthusiastic five year old blabbering on about how tasty pears are or that pears just so happen to be the favorite of all fruits. Strawberries, cherries, plums, nectarines, raspberries and oranges seem to dominate as leaders of the ‘favorite fruit’ and to top it all off we (the dominant species on the planet) have decided to curb the demand for pears even more by describing our unexpectedly awkward moments as having gone ‘pear shaped’.

In 1864 Mr. Wesley Vernier painted none other than ‘The Great Californian Pear’… story goes that this pear was loved, fussed over and cared for by a Mr. C. Hova of Los Angeles as it weighed a little over 4lbs; I often find myself staring into the computer screen at the sight of this painting for comfort but what moves me most is not the size or shape of this pear but rather her color:copper.

Now copper is closely related to two rather popular metals; silver and gold… While people prefer gold and silver due to their ornamental and decorative values and uses, this third metal in the eleventh group of the periodic table is also (like the pear) most ancient and useful… It is used in architecture, art and in some museums you may find archaeological artifacts made of copper. All this ties up with a one simple truth about our modern lives; what isn’t fashionable is readily discarded.

Pears are yummi and copper is pretty, but what is even prettier is seeing people who manage to detach from the fashionable and focus on what is genuinely good and the best place to see this happening is on a very new facebook group founded by two incredible individuals who took it upon themselves to begin a sort of ‘silent revolution’… here people get to share the goodness of their day to day experiences to inspire others to seek out the good rather than just focusing on how pear shaped their flawless plans for the future have turned out to be.

If you have just about had it with the queerness of your present circumstances then maybe it’s time to focus on the copper side of life, where ‘the good stuff’ flow freely, I on the other hand take it upon myself to help the copper lovers keep the good spirits even when pears seems awfully unappealing at times.

For those interested in the Copper Age please utilize this link: