Like – With – Like

“I am a wonderful help to women
The hope of something good to come
I harm only my slayer
I grow very tall, erect in a bed
I am shaggy down below
The lovely girl grabs my body, rubs my red skin
Holds me hard, claims my head.
That girl will feel our meeting!
I bring tears to her eyes!
What am I?”

(Old English Riddle)

Introduced to North America in 1492 by Christopher Columbus on his Hispaniola expedition, its top 3 Producers are China, USA and India.

Every season around the world more or less 74 384 856 tons of it are being produced with more or less 40 different variations of it. Its skins have been used for dye, it used to be prescribed by doctors to help with fertility; In Rome Gladiators were rubbed down with it in order to firm up their muscles and the Ancient Egyptians worshiped it; believing that its spherical shape and coaxial rings symbolize eternal life.

For those of you who are still completely lost; I am talking about the Onion.

Whatever were you thinking?

There are roughly four kinds of onions that are readily available at almost any grocery store. Those are the White Onion, Red Onion, Green Onion and Garlic. Their actual names are a little different though but for the sake of keeping things simple I am not planning on getting into the scientific names of onions.

Fighting like-with-like, a technique that goes as far back as 5 000 BC.

I like to believe that fear is fought best with fear. Doing whatever it is that scares you over and over until it becomes no more than routine.

Last night my best friend and his brother were video recording me while I doctored my flu with a good dose of onion juice which I had to take in through my nose. I swore and I coughed and nearly drowned in my own cure but I endured it, I also hated every moment of it. My best friend laughed, his brother laughed and then we all laughed together at my somewhat twisted sense of medication.

When looking at the use of onion in medicinal terms it is found to be a remedy for conditions with symptoms like the ones which are caused by exposure to onion: watering eyes, running nose, inflamed eyes due to sinus congestion and hay fever are significantly relieved with onion.

So for immediate relief of a running nose and / an annoying cough here’s what you will need:

Nose wipes

An Onion

A grater

A bowl

Steps 1, 2, 3 and 4

Take the onion, peel it and grate it into a bowl, then take the syringe and fill it half way with the juice of the grated onion (make sure that there are no actual onion bits in the syringe[for your own good]).

Steps 5 and 6

Find a comfortable place to lie down and make sure that your head is tilted as far back as possible; best way to do that is to lie with your head just off the edge of your bed and let it hang.

Steps 7, 8 and 9

Empty half of the syringe contents into one nostril and the other half into the other while breathing in through your nose as deeply as you can.

Do not change your position for about a minute after the intake of onion drops.

Step 10

Wipe away your tears lad!

So I can still smell the onion drops in my nose but the upside is that I can finally smell again.

So while my buddy has the next two days off work to sit at home with a horrible case of the flu, I get to lean back, take a deep breath and while I am not 100% cured, I still thank Mother Nature and Mr Onion for saving my nose from utter misery!

I must add; the experience is horrifying but it lasts for a minute or two… it is effective and there are no doctor fees required, at most just a short walk to your nearest grocery store or mini market.

How’s that for magic?

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One thought on “Like – With – Like

  1. Ow… ow… Oh god, ow. Just the thought of this is making me wanting to cry like a little girl. I’d rather drown in my own snot than squirt onion juice up my nose. But I’ll keep in mind in case I change my mind. *cringe*

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