When a wolf finds a mate only death can tear them apart. What after that?
Lone wolf. In its truest sense.
In the case that a wolf’s mate dies, the living dead wolf will never again mate with another.
Many myths claim that this is why wolves howl at the moon… but can there be romance in wild beings?
I think !
We might be walking upright… but inherently we are all wilderness in a cloak of civilisation.
Of course just because wolves are monogamous, does not automatically qualify the rest of the animal Kingdom as such. Which is also a thing for humans it seems. Especially lately; and I do not object at all; point is : we’re just as wild.
The tough part is that we forget that. We tend to cover ourselves with too much of humanity and too little of nature. In turn it makes us feel vulnerable and soft… weak… afraid… incapable. .. rejected… heart broken… ugly…
Do you have any idea how little time you would have to live if you were in a predatory landscape?
“I can’t do this anymore! There’s no way out for me! I am ugly and worthless..”
The first passing predator would devour you out of sheer irritation… and here I dared call myself a wolf… how arrogant!
For days on end I allowed myself to feel defeated after advising you dear reader; that nothing is impossible… yet at the first sign of trouble I dived straight into my human weaknesses. I suppose that’s ok too because you could say that I am human after all… but the problem is that my soul isn’t; my body is.
Realizing that was like an instant snap back to where I should have stayed – my wolf brain… It was a humbling experience and perhaps I need more of those just to remind me that things won’t always work the way I would like them to…
Not the way I would like them to at all… circumstances are still keeping me away from that moon that my soul howls for each night… especially when the actual moon is new or full.
Never had this wolf been defeated in the hunt … my prey was flesh – my punishment was the gift of pleasure like a spear dampened with Heroin … only so I could take it back and leave with it.
Did it occur to me that I was causing serious damage?
Not until much later…
Now I howl for the one moon I have been dreaming of… that same moon I had to dim by getting into relationships to pass the time so that it was easier to bare… Each time I said yes her face would remain stuck in my thoughts until I erased it with the kisses of another…
How do I know she’s the one?
Because even In my dreams my first desire is to simply walk with her… listen to her hum a pretty song… listen to her thoughts and watch her as she walks like at any moment now she could disappear.
My second desire is to hold her hand and entangle my fingers with hers…
The third is to hold her… to keep her safe … to know her sent.
And only then do I dare to kiss her in my dreams… kiss… but only that… For the first time the physical is not as important as the connection…
For this moon.
I will do the impossible.