Hopeless and Frantic

One day I will write my poetry

As though forever is the shortest word in the English dictionary, regardless of this false idea – the eyes of my audience would better adjust to the uncomfortable sight of me. My unruly hair and hard-to-tell gender would finally fit even though they don’t.

My made-up fashion sense wouldn’t hurt retinae but instead, they will see me as equally human… equally hurting, healing, heaving for a breath of air that isn’t polluted by racism.

One day I will speak my poetry

Without being shaken at someone calling me “bitch” for daring to love a Zulu Queen.

Instead I will stand firm as her prince, hold my head high and remember that she loves me even when I am a little bitchy… I will think of her when the audience is about to run out of patience with all I have to say… and perhaps their ear-drums will finally adjust to the idea that, maybe freedom is equally important to me too. Maybe I am willing to stay and fight and raise a tight fist in the air while, knowing that there is an axe waiting to chop my whole arm off in all the looks I get because I dared to imagine myself worthy of the revolution.

One day I will read my own poetry

Without wanting to crumple up the paper and forget how to spell.

See, revolutionary tendencies are not inherited, they are nurtured and raised like those poets who had parents but still no one to go home to – so they raise themselves and become more human than they’d like to be because… they weren’t loved enough to be vaccinated with indifference and ignorance every minute of their growing life.

One day

My poetry might touch a part of you that you weren’t even aware existed….

It might extend a metaphorical palm towards you in hopes that this time you won’t smack my hand away like an annoying mosquito on a hot summer night when YOUR QUEEN has turned your home into a walk-in freezer with her cold shoulder.

Would you consider me then?

Would you consider heating up your veins with compassion, understanding and acceptance?

And one day…

Just maybe

I won’t be afraid of what wars this microphone will have to fight before I’ve even touched it.

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