Heritage Day

Today is my last day

 

I manage to crawl off the bed that ceased to be coupled almost a decade ago

then land in my still relatively tiny bathroom, though my own physique seems to be shrinking by the second now

I look up at my reflection and I realise the purpose of mirrors

There is a headline,

my face

wrinkled and grey beneath its letters seems to unfold like an over ripe flower without ever having been touched

it says;

Heritage Day

I shuffle along until I trip over the now almost dry white board marker and I begin the list:

One: I inherited the dark lines of deceit off my mother’s core

Two: I learned how to live with being a liar

Three: I came as a foreign being full of love

Four: I was denied love but I’m still leaving filled with only those four letters

Five: Life was beautiful though the darkness is always the beginning of a new story

Six: I inherited the art

Seven: I will never forget

 

I rinse myself off and decide that it would be better to leave full of hope

After all

3 months before they expected me I was ready

13 years before I was

they weren’t

my family

 

The wardrobe whispered the call of majesty

I obeyed my longing eyes

past the dioors and my goodbye suit

I found the two letter phrase barely in disguise and I remembered why

Heritage day:

One: I learned how to judge myself better than anyone had ever judged me

Two: It wasn’t always sunny

Three: How to fake the smile through heartache

Four: How to cause the same

Five: My clothes are cheap

Six: I am unworthychocolat_l

Seven: I knew this each time we made eye contact… after all; we are self proclaimed judges

 

So neat, tidy and fresh I walk towards the lonely seat and the non functional tv

and on the top right hand corner of the screen

A phrase in white paint screams out at me

Heritage Day:

One: My skin colour murdered my first love

Two: I inherited the skill of not caring much for those attributes

Three: My father Died of a broken heart

Four: You saved mine

Five: Our life was puzzled together by vibes and muted sentences

Six: In the end, my quirks were irrelevant and your were my indica

Seven: I fell eternally asleep with the very thoughts that days and nights before had always haunted me.

 

Palm on palm now

My eye lids find their space

No tears left in me

My heritage day is eternal

and I only grew to know that the moment I looked into you!

 

 

 

 

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Florence + My Heart Machine

‘ And oh my love remind me; what was it that I said’

I can’t find it – the virtual piece of you that found me so very long ago – what kind of person loves like this. what kind of woman.

Searching desperately through the URL of your heart, trying so hard to find a piece of what drove me toward you – looking for comments of faith and her snickering sarcasts.

The few worded paragraphs screaming out to me and into me as my eyes lock on to your words – shyly intended to reach a few souls and your hope was that I would be out there somewhere and read it : and there I was; here I am again!

I am reaching for you too

I am searching

I will cross as many borders as I must , just to know what your voice sounds like – I imagine how you would look at me when you’re sulking or when you are trying my patience.

This is my personal advert; I hope that you will stumble upon this page someday and read this as I read you…

I collect URL sentences in a book

I collect as many bits of you as I can find

I am fighting against distance and time

To get to hold you someday

to kiss you

to know that if I really were to see you

You would be graceful enough to stay

stay with me a second – and if indifference prevails

I will encourage you to run away.

7 Devils haunt my dreams

7 Devils and one S’aint

Florence found me again

I was searching for you

and although you may not want to accept it

I know

In your own way

You’re searching for me too

For K.